Archive for January, 2009

My InterFace Expeventure

January 3, 2009

I’m not sure if I saw it coming, but I can tell you it hit so hard I was wondering if I was going to get out of it with anything less than a “a broken jaw”.  Now this is not like a confession but I am not very good at showing emotions and I easily overlook danger even if it hit just two steps away. To me – and one of my egbons rightly agree, “whatever will go wrong will go wrong” and I add to that by saying that once it has happened, there is no need to look back just clean up and move on. Might not sound so easy for some of you but moving on is about the easiest thing for me – guess that’s why I never lose weight, even in the midst of plenty issues J

She came on like someone who was just hurt by a couple of people that I share the same heritage with, not like a complain:: rather she felt I was a solution in the making (which I have always been). She also spoke nicely and when I sit back and look at the whole scenario it looks to me like my role in the movie was that of Tiger Wood’s favourite pet, kicked all through distance and angle but always hoping it falls into the right hole. I’m not sure what kind of hole I fell into though, but I can tell you it stinks – even with the entire superman attitude. Then comes the invisible romance – now a brother is careful with soft words, she keeps referring to me as special, mean the world to me and all sorts of interesting things but that careless spirit ignores all those believing that I was helping a broken spirit recover. Now suddenly things take the next step, she wants to meet me, it was either I move my things to CA and make love to her every Tuesday and Thursday or we make two sets of visit within the year, but I innocently not wanting to be rude explain that I have made a vow to see my baby ( through before considering any major move besides not for flimsy reasons like living with someone I haven’t even met before.

The big one, she wants phone sex,… First I am angry that someone woke me at 4am when I just got offline at 3:20am and was catching the first set of sleep. Reaction: Switch on the light, look for the phone turn off button and switch it off. From then I knew I had to stop this fire before it gets to the barn. But I didn’t, please don’t ask me why. She then starts the most absurd thing that my head wants to take, questions, control; who is this, who was that, why this note, then I suddenly wake up from a mid afternoon dream and tap myself in the most scaring manner – what am I doing? I haven’t even said I am in, and I have to explain how many minutes I spend in then gents and how long it takes me to finish a bowl of Eba (na plate I dey use O!). I start the retreat formation, issue order to my body headquarters and then our troops start to withdraw, as soon as we cross the bridge, the worst hit is here, she writes the first ever rotten shit on my FB wall, not just claiming that I have scammed her but that I also run a fake campaign against cybercrime. Have you heard of the phrase, “emotionally scammed” well I learnt it for the first time though I’m yet to confirm its real meaning.

You really don’t know how much you have to protect until there is fire in the next room and closing in. This lady claims to Love Nigeria so much and will do anything to save Nigeria (Naija don suffer, even seeming mad people wan save us), she also claims “god” told her that a Nigerian man is holding her heart (haba! No be me O!) I have decided not to mention her name in this note since as much as I can remember the name is almost not real and has a lot of well meaning people all over the world with the same name. She has no significant presence online, so your guess is as good as mine – SCAM!! or maybe a modified state of mental imbalance. How do you explain that four different individuals use the same email id, where has privacy gone to? And different versions of physical attack stories directed to Nigerians who according to this same person have not left the shore of Nigeria. Her acclaimed daughter claimed she feel into a ditch thinking about her lover who has deserted her but according to her version, she was threatened by some men who made her choose between falling off the cliff and being shot and she chose falling off. In the midst of the integrity challenge heat though, some of my friends in the Industry; many thanks to Ohimai, Oga Victor, Pita,  for their quick advice and intervention. But then I am so happy I have a brother for a boss, who believes in me, and we had some heart to heart talk, very tense though but life is back to normal. Necessary steps have been taken to ignore but monitor this mysterious love and sex seeking lady while precautions are in place to check future fire mouth-breaks (Ohimai in-charge 🙂

Brosses and Sisses, next time you get some sweet talk from someone you are not sure about beware, cos you might soon be hunted with a new definition or type of scam.

Watch out for the T.R. Revelation!